


[your biggest fan]

by cm (mumblemutter)



Series: Tumblr Things [7]
Category: Thor (Comics), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Assassination Attempt(s), Crack, Ficlet, Implied Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-22 18:42:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2517881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumblemutter/pseuds/cm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>(Reposted from <a href="http://lokiagentofhotness.tumblr.com/post/87598174852/">Tumblr</a>.)</p>
    </blockquote>





	[your biggest fan]

**Author's Note:**

> (Reposted from [Tumblr](http://lokiagentofhotness.tumblr.com/post/87598174852/).)

"We have to kill Iron Man, Thor. It's for the good of Asgard."

"We can't kill Tony, Loki. And Asgard has nothing to fear from him, I promise you."

Loki's eyes narrow quite dangerously. "Tony? Why on the first name basis."

"We're friends," Thor tries. "Comrades in arms." It's nothing: _We do not share the same bed. Not often._ They have been very careful. Surely Loki does not know. 

"No, but -"

And Loki's reasoning is very - reasonable. Why it's important that Tony Stark meet his fate at the end of Loki's very sharp scepter. Thor is almost lulled into believing that it's necessary. For a brief, fleeting second. Before he remembers it's _Loki_.

"Fine," Loki says finally, and stomps his feet. "Take his side, I know why. Have fun with your _Avengers_." He disappears in a whirl of angry green smoke, although the effect is somewhat ruined when Thor catches a glimpse of him ducking out the nearby door.

This is when the attempts on Thor's life start.

*

The first day, he is hit by a runaway bus. As he is shaking metal off his skin and apologizing profusely to the bus driver for destroying his vehicle, he sees a flash of green out of the corner of his eyes.

But surely not. His brother is spiteful, paranoid, bitter, vindictive and petty, but surely he would not.

The second day, Thor accepts a drink from Tony, and finds himself flat on his back, unable to move. Tony's face hovers above his, furrowed in concern. "Thor, dude. It was just wine - I thought you Vikings did nothing but drink and fuck. We've only done the first, too early for you to pass out. The fun's only just started."

"Urk," is all Thor can say.

The bottle of very expensive wine was a gift, Tony says, later.

A gift.

By the end of the week, he has been stabbed, shot, poisoned; a window has been dropped on him from a considerable height, and he was recovering in bed when a succubus tried to suck the life out of him in his sleep.

Banner brings him soup, pats him on the thigh as he sits next to him. "Bad week, huh? I've had those. Sometimes I feel my life is just neverending bad luck events. It'll pass."

"No," Thor says miserably. "My brother will not pass."

"Ah," Bruce says, and seems at a loss for words. "That's - yeah."

*

He searches for Loki when his body's repaired enough that he can leave Tony's apartment, and finds him curled up on an ice fjord in Norway.

Thor hovers over the icy ocean, brandishes Mjolnir. "Loki!"

"Go away, Thor. I'm broodi- busy."

"You need to stop trying to kill me."

"Don't tell me what to do. Besides, you're not dead, are you? If I wanted you dead you'd be dead." Quite honestly, Thor has some doubts on Loki's efficacy, but he decides it's probably be wiser to remain silent. He lands on the ice instead, ignores Loki when he scowls and says, "My ice, not yours. You're not welcome here."

But he doesn't do anything when Thor sits next to him, shivering slightly as the cold starts to seep through his clothes. He doesn't do as well in this place as Loki does. "Loki," he begins.

"Oh, do shut up, Thor."

"No, but -"

"Tony Stark, really? Really?!"

"He's quite - nice, when you get to know him better."

Loki bares his teeth, and Thor allows his gaze to wander, surveying the white, barren landscape. After a moment, a head lands on his shoulder, and Loki sighs.

They sit until the sun sets, a vision of pink and orange hues. Then Loki says, "You should get back to your Avengers."

"I can stay a while longer."

Loki sighs again, softer this time. "If you insist."

"I insist, brother."


End file.
